Monday, November 17, 2014

Nightmares

Kieran has nightmares. What kid doesn't? I think Mia's been having a few but can't really express that just yet.

This morning, Ken was away and I had already taken my shower and was getting dressed when I heard a knock on my door. Kieran came in and said he'd had another nightmare.

Sat down with him on the bed, asked if he wanted to tell me about it. Nodded, he did.

"We were walking to school and you and I were talking about how monsters weren't real."

I nodded.

"Then I asked - well, what about the guy who comes to my school and hypnotises us? You said - oh him? He's real."

Hypnotizes? Weird, but okay.... I ask about this. Kieran says, yes the guy looked like a zombie and used a pocketwatch to hypnotize his school so the kids would hit one another.

We talk for a bit about why nightmares happen (worried about stuff). Also I told him that if I were going to hynpotize his school, I'd have them come help us clean house. Then I realize that's a lot of people and my house can't hold them all. So I say maybe just his class, not the whole school.

Which makes him laugh.

After talking about being stressed out, it comes out he is worried because of something that happened last week. He was walking up the stairs and witnessed a bullying of another student. Two older students then turned to Kieran and told Kieran to hit the kid they were bullying. Instead, Kieran hit one of the older kids and raced up the steps.

We talked about why this was not his best choice, what other options he had. But all-in-all I'm not upset or angry with him. He did not hit out of anger, he did not beat upon this kid, just panicked, hit and ran. I sent an email to his teacher about this, beacuse I wanted someone at the school to be aware. I don't really want Kieran getting in trouble for this. It was not the best decision but it was the one he chose. He doesn't know the other kids and it may never have come back around on him, but I felt it was important to be upfront with the school about it, partially as a precautionary and partially as a lesson to always let the adults know about any bullying you witness.

I am hoping that he does OK today. He complained that he didn't want to go to school - that he had a headache, that his hand hurt, etc. He's definitely worried. Poor kid.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Convoluted, but (Somewhat) Effective

So long since I had any time to post. Sorry about that. Following up from previous post....

Kieran had a one-day out-of-school suspension (a very big deal, permanent record crap) and we cleaned house. All. Day. Long. Oh, and he had school work to do when he wasn't cleaning. He did not like it (which, of course, was the point).

Last year after a run of bad days at school, they implemented a point system for him where he could earn a variety of things as he hit different 'levels' he could earn points, but not have them taken away. So we talked a lot about instituting a similar system at home.

Kieran kept trying to add rules and ideas to it. His complete program was some kind of weird looking Escher painting (but in flowchart form, if I had bothered to flowchart it at all). I scaled back from what he wanted to do and came up with the following:

Green is worth one point, everything above that has additional points to it up to 5 points each day. Going below green puts him at negative points up to negative 5. He can also earn additional points each day for his magnet chart. 3 magnets equals one point (are you following all this?). Ability to receive up to 2 additional poitns via magnets each day.

He can earn prizes in three different ways.
1. Daily or weekly he has to hit a certain level to be able to do specific things. Daily - 3 points to get dessert or an extra book at bedtime. 5 points and he can have both. 10 points earned during the week gets him into the bag of mystery at the end of the week.

2. Levels - we set up specific levels for him to reach to get certain priviledges. 50 points was earning his Pokemon cards back, for example.

3. Buy with points - he also wanted to be able to 'cash in' his points for special things. A trip to a local dessert place, a toy of his choosing, etc. He just took advantage of his first 'buy with points' item to buy Snackeez for him and his sister.

So far, it's done fairly well. He's still having some issues with control and we're working to find another therapist for him. But his general demeanor has been better and he and I are getting along better as well.

Soon, I should have some fun Halloween photos for you. This past month has been insane with the number of things going on. I am looking forward to the holiday slowdown.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Where's the Respect?

I'm writing this because I am freaking out (yet again) about Kieran's behavior. Yesterday was horrid. Partially his issue, partially mine. I got so angry with him that I spanked him, hard. Just once but I hated it.

His disrespect for me is off the charts. Ignoring me, playing around, unable to control himself.

Now, today, I got a call from the principal. First one this year, so yay for that. But....

Yesterday, he was chanting "I'm gonna touch your privates" then proceeded to touch other kids' (yes, plural) in their privates. One was a girl, the other a boy who just did it right back to him. He is aware that he is not to be touching anyone else's privates. He's now due for either a 5 day in-school detention or a one-day suspension. If he touches anyone else again like that, he could be in for a long-term suspsension. I don't think he understands just how serious this could be. Life affecting serious. I'm also of half a mind to ask for leniency with the school, but I don't know how well it would go over given his history of not keeping his hands to himself. And showing his butt to others in the bathroom.

I told the principal to have Kieran talk with the school therapist again, and that Ken and I will address this with him at home. He was going to therapy, I thought he was done, but obviously he is not. Unsure where we'll turn at this point given his therapist moved somewhere else and I'm not sure he'd open up to anyone new.

Just upset and frustrated and wondering if my grandparents are looking down at this and laughing their asses off. Because while I was not a violent kid, generally speaking, I did have a temper and I did things that made sense to me at the time that now, as an adult, I cringe to know I did.

I'm getting some books from the library that I hope will help as well and talking with other parents who may have dealt with issues similar to this. At my wits end today and continue to hope that we can turn a corner. I don't want to medicate my kid. I really don't. I'm giving serious consideration to removing 99% of TV/screen time from him and his sister as well as trying to eliminate sugar from his diet (the second is ridiculously difficult, especially given what he eats).

Not even sure what the at-home punishment for this will be. It ain't gonna pretty in the Gauvey household for a while.

And with that thought, I'm done.

Monday, September 08, 2014

Fart Land - Part 2

So Kieran had been begging me for Adventures in Fart Land Part Two and it took me a bit to noodle on where we could go from the first part of the story. I promised him that I would write all the parts down in case he ever wanted to share these stories with his own kids one day. He also gave our characters names.

Mikie, Mike and Micki are our Fart Land inhabitants. They promised not to fart in Fart Land to make it smell better but soon realized that, eventually, everyone needs to fart. Not wanting to let their friends down, they would fart inside things and seal them up - like buckets or holes in the ground.

Then Mikie needs to go to the beach and grabs a bucket to make a sandcastle. UGH, the smell is horrible when he pulls off the lid. Fart Land overall still smells OK but a little bit worse.

Mike begins digging a hole for a tree he wants to plant and hits a fart pocket. Blech! Fart Land begins to smell even worse.

Then, poor Micki, she went to find something in a shed out back and WHAM, the last of the pent-up farts are released and Fart Land once again smells of farts.

End of part 2.

I do hope you all are enjoying this boy-centric saga as much as Kieran is. He also has suggested that people from Fart Land come to visit us in 'this dimension' and when they fart, it explodes from their tushes and causes trees to fall over dead. Oh, 7-year-old boy humor. How I've missed you.... :)

Love to all, blog again sometime.


PS - Mia does not know the Fart Land saga, she continues to request princess stories. And demands everything she owns to be pink or purple. *sigh*

Friday, September 05, 2014

Adventures in Fart Land

Just had to share this quick story.

Last night Kieran was unable to sleep because of something he'd seen on TV. He was worried about waking up in the darkness and 'seeing eyes appear'. Even with a small night light on. I knew he needed a short story that would distract him from his fear. Below is the story I told Kieran... the tale, of Fartland.

There were three friends who lived in Fartland. All of them agreed, it stunk. One had a bright idea to find a flower to make the place smell better. Off he went in search of the largest flower he could find. He found a century plant, which only blooms once every 100 years. He planted it and then they waited. And waited. And waited.

Everyone agreed that this plant was not giong to bloom anytime soon. So the second friend went out and thought, 'Well, if the largest flower didn't work, maybe the smallest one would.'. So off he went and found milisecond flowers. They were tiny but, they bloomed and died so quickly - pop, pop, pop - that their fragrance did not last more than a half a milisecond.

The last friend decided that something in the middle would be ideal. So he found dwarf sunflowers and planted those. They bloomed and worked wonderfully. Except that it just made Fartland smell like flowers and farts. Finally, the first friend said, "You know, we should probably stop farting in Fartland."

And they did. And Fartland no longer smelled of farts.

The end.

PS - yes, the story worked and now Kieran wants to hear Adventures in Fartland part 2.

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Like Riding a Bike

For those that get most of your family news via Facebook (and that's most, if not all of you), you know that this weekend, Kieran finally mastered the 2 wheel bike.

He knew how to ride with training wheels when he was about 4 or so, but last summer we got him a bike without training wheels. He was pretty frustrated with it and several weekends were either too hot to go out or I was with both kids so could not help him learn.

Fast forward to this year, where we now know he needs to learn to balance first, then work on pedaling. He's been taking his bike out about one weekend each month (at most) and riding down some small hills in the park. I was watching him on Saturday and realized he really has the balancing thing down.

"Hey Kieran," I call out. "Try pedaling next time you go down."

He looks a bit surprised, but when he brings his bike back up the hill, I tell him how he knows how to balance, it's now time for him to try pedalling. I told him that he should wait until he's about halfway down the hill. And he does. And he takes off like a shot.

That was all it took. He's been on his bike ever since. Asking each morning when we got up this weekend if he could go ride.

Unforutnately, Ken was out most of the weekend at a Kendo tournament and did not get to see Kieran's first few times around. When Ken finally got back on Monday, Kieran was more than happy to ride around and show Ken what he learned.

Also unfortunately, like riding a bike, Kieran's temper flared up on Friday. He got on role model with his teacher, even though he missed Fun Friday activity (I did not realize he had 2 homework books to check each night and we missed his spelling homework). So he was already grumpy when he went over to Fitness Fun and Games. While there, one of his friends made fun of him the two of them traded words and then Kieran pushed him. For that, Kieran was sent back inside. When that happened, he called the teacher a "dick". He felt his punishment was far worse than his crime.

He's been reprimanded by us, and by Fitness Fun and Games. I/Ken also has to talk with the director as the teacher told Kieran that he would not be able to come back (i.e. he was getting kicked out) but did not tell me or Ken this. I'm pretty pissed this teacher would basically threaten my kid like that. Don't get me wrong, Kieran's got to respect people in charge (he doesn't, not even me sometimes) and calling this guy names is not acceptable in my book - ever. That does not give this guy the right to tell Kieran he can't come back. If that's going to happen, they need to tell me & Ken FIRST and let us decide what to do from there. I did let Kieran know that behavior of this kind will not be tolerated and that it can lead to him being kicked out of the program. He gets that he made some bad choices and will work towards a better resolution.

I've also decided that I need to communicate better with him and am going to get the "How to talk so your children will listen..." book as well as look at others along those lines. I may also try to get more books for him on respect. His intellect gets him into trouble as he thinks himself equal to the adults and can't understand why what he believes to be true isn't the way of the world.

Also like riding a bike, we've moved Amelia over to Goddard School (where Kieran went). Hopefully only for one year and then to Kieran's school for PreK. It's her first day there and I'll have to get used to the many differences of this school from her previous daycare as well as the difference of this school from Kieran's school.

OK that's enough for now. Love to all, blog again eventually.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Yuck

Ugh. I stink, can't believe it's been over a month (nearly two) since I blogged. So many of you keep up with us via Facebook, but that' can't really detail the things that happen over time.

Kieran continues to be an amazing big brother. And a great sleeper. Thank goodness for the second (and the first, really) because last night Mia woke up at midnight screaming crying. She got sick and kept crying off and on for an hour until she fell back asleep. No idea how he slept through that but really glad he did.

Anyway, school has started for Kieran - 2nd grade. Can't quite wrap my mind around how fast he is growing up. Seems like yesterday he was upset leaving the comfort of Goddard for his new school. Now Mia will be moving to Goddard before she (hopefully) starts at the same school as Kieran next year. I have officially put her on the list.

So much has happened over the summer. Kieran has done very well with his temper and controling his outbursts, I am hopeful this will continue into school - we'll see. He is in love with mini golf and is looking forward to swim lessons again.

I am embarrassed to say that Amelia still does not know her alphabet. She does not seem interested in learning either. We're hoping the move to Goddard will help her with this (along with our continued asking of what letters are which). I'm convinced she's getting away with a lot at her existing daycare where they love her but I know she's not behaving well (she hits friends, and doesn't listen). When we're trying to work on things at home she gets 'cute' and obviously thinks she can not answer questions by doing it. Frustrating as hell.

Have I mentioned that I don't like the three year old phase? When you know they understand you but just don't care enough to control their little 'id'? Just 10 more months, right?

OK, now that Mia is resting from last night's sickness, I feel better about tonight. I am hopeful she is past whatever was bothering her belly.

Love to all, blog again... um, one day.